Today wasn't very nice... Yesterday I had a saxophone lesson in Tiel, that's a 2 hour trip by train from Rotterdam and when I came home I felt sick, so I went to bed early. I was supposed to go to work today, but I still felt miserable, so I stayed home. Please don't ask me what I did today, it is a mix of sleeping, waking up, sleeping, eating, sleeping, and so on. Not very interesting. I am feeling a bit better now, but I still feel this irritating headache, grrr...
Tomorrow will be the first time I play saxophone in the worship team on sunday. When I was asked to play this sunday I really was like: "yeah of course! wiii, finally!". But now, at the night before playing, I am more calm about it. It will be different from playing alone in my room or with a few people of the worship team on monday. All I know is that I want to play for God tomorrow morning and not for all the people who are standing there and will look at me because "I am new". And I think that will be harder than I can imagine right now, because I have this tendency to prove myself, even when people already know what I am capable of.
I don't know how to react if people will come to me after the service to say that I can play well (or not :P), just because "playing well" isn't the point when you worship God. It's about your heart. Even when the music sucks at sunday I can still worship God and give Him all that is within me. I just change the way I express that love by going from singing to playing saxophone.
Well, I will tell you how it went ;-). Sleepy now...
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