Don't worry about the future

Tomorrow I am going to Amsterdam with Basje (=Basak, that great girl on the photo's from my last blog)!! I will go to the University of Amsterdam to join a lecture from the study I am interested in and I'm very excited. On one hand I really hope that I will like it and that I finally will be able to choose my study for next year. On the other hand I feel that I am a little afraid... I don't really know why. I guess it has something to do with the awareness of making a decision for the upcoming years. I mean, it's an important decision and it will determine how part of my future will look like.

I know that I can not make seriously wrong decisions. Some are better than others, but every morning again, I try to fix my eyes on Jesus and with that thought on my mind I know God will protect me from everything that's going wrong in my life and that God will lead me to everything good He has for me.
I am that kind of person (and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one) that tries to make a certain picture of her future. But in the two/three years of being christian, I should know that that is impossible... You don't even need to be a christian to know that, although non-christians are quite good in turning situations to their hands instead of God's way.

So there are two different things I am saying: The first one is that I am affraid to make a decision for my future, the second one is that I try to create my future in my mind, I try to make a picture of how my future will look like. Creating a future in phantasy isn't difficult (for me at least). Making the real future is more challenging. God has a future for me, but I don't think He's that kind of God that grabs me in my neck, places me before the building of the university I am supposed to go to and then says: "Look! That's your future! Tadaaaa! Do you like it?" Where is the word trust in this all? The words relationship and friendship? Those two last words are being created by the first one. Trust God in making decisions and in everything else in life and you will develop an intimate relationship and friendship with Him.

Wow... So that means, it's not about the decision I make, but about the way I handle things and they way I involve God in this proces... And God knows me better than I know myself, so if I just let Him lead me in my future, He has got the best for me! And now all pieces are falling together... The idea that went through my mind these past days was about the fact that I don't know what's good for me. Only God knows. And sometimes I think I know what is good for me and draw conclusions. As in "That study is too boring for me, so I should not do that".
If I let God be my guide, then He will lead me to the next step and the only thing I have to do is take that step. I don't have to worry about the consequences or the effects of that step. I don't have to brainstorm about where that step will lead me. God will lead me... He will be clear about His plans for my life, no doubt.

I'm sorry if this was a very confusing, weird story, but while I was writing things became clearer for me, so... wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !!! THANK YOU GOD !!! *big smile!!*

Can't wait till tomorrow... And I don't have to worry about it!!