Dependent on God

How am I feeling today?
I have no idea...
I'm not sad or angry,
but I'm not really "woooh! Yeah! wiii!!" too.

Am I growing up?!

No, that's not possible, hehe.

I don't know what it is. My mind is just full of al kinds of thoughts. School, exams, saxophone, parents, friends, love, money, new year. I find it hard to put all those things in Gods hands. I read the book "The prayer of Jabes" yesterday and it said among other things that I need to be dependent on God. That was something I already knew, but the feelings that come with it not. There was a guy, who said he had the feeling he couldn't cope with the upcomming things when he tried to rely on God. Well, there he got the description of the word "dependence". He was supposed to feel like that; it showed that he was walking his life with Jesus.
I like, and I think more people, to take the next things into consideration:

** my common sense
** my earlier experiences
** my feelings, education, need for safety
** my reputation (do I have one..?)

I need to be aware of the fact that I've got to let those things go when I want to follow God with all my heart. That's scary... Ow, dinner now, I'll be back soon. Maybe this evening, but I've got to play saxophone then, so I'm not sure.
Bye for now ;-)